petercapaldass:

doctadonner:

i can’t get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in people’s breath

and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill) 

I had to fucking reply “I prefer people when they’re not breathing” 

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5herlockholme5:

thepainofthefeels:

5herlockholme5:

ha im a piece of trash

As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?

you smooth fucker

queencrash:

ritornerai:

What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS

"Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace."

louisranger:

i hate it when you go out with your friends but no one bothers to tell you that you look like a grape

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mackblesa:

wobbufetts:

aidn:

how the hell do i talk to people

Stand in front of them and press A

-jumps-

deanismypatronass:

cocolooo:

deanismypatronass:

cocolooo:

i love high contrast photos of fruit floating threateningly in the night

I don’t believe such a thing exists

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I was mistaken

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